Matranga Family Rhythm
I don’t know about you, but our “routine” has been thrown for a loop! And I’m not even a routine kind of person, by nature!
So bear that in mind as I’m about to lay out for you what a day looks like for us ON A GOOD DAY. Because we don’t do all of these things every day, by any means. We have a kind of “rhythm” we like to keep and I’ll share that with you because it does help our home function more peacefully. But to be honest, we still march to the beat of our own drum pretty often…
And overall, our goal is character building & relationship right now - we drop things in the “schedule” that just don’t jive with keeping our relationships with the Lord, each other, and friends and family strong.
Before I get in to our rhythm, here’s some background about us. My husband is the young adults pastor at Foothills so he has night time ministries two to three times a week but pretty regular work hours otherwise. I’m the director of Everyday Moms (basically the MOPS of Foothills), as well as a wedding & family photographer and owner of the small company Gathered We Grow. My hours can be flexible, slow or really busy depending on the season! We have three kids and one on the way. I homeschool our 6 ½ and 4 ½ year old while trying to wrangle our two year old. So that’s fun *insert crazy face*.
Partly because of the ages of our kids, we keep our rhythm really loose. Our daily rhythm on a “perfectly planned” day at home looks something like this:
The only issue with this is that we don’t have these “perfectly planned” stay at home days nearly as often as I’d like (except during this quarantine!). This perfect rhythm only happens about twice a week! But…I’ve also found that what works best for our family is having even more free play time and flexibility a couple of days a week and doing 2 full learning days a week, then being open on dad’s days off! So sometimes our Science/History and Art goes all the way until 4 o’clock clean up time on those days and we cram in several lessons in each subject. But we had more play/free time the other days. And that’s okay! Because we only do more “organized learning” for as long as the kids are engaged and not frustrated. At this point in their little learning lives, my goal is to cultivate an excitement and desire to learn in them that will last their whole lives. If I’m forcing a schedule on them, for them to finish everything, to learn a specific way, at the table, in a workbook –no one enjoys that day! Not me, not them. So we change it up often. We take break days when we need to and we always come back to the table and the books - because our kids really do love to learn!
But at the same time, we also do a lot of sneaky, FUN learning by tucking it in to the everyday stuff of life. We explain our way and talk our kids through most things. Like…learning math while helping with meals, or learning about nature and science by spending time in the yard, or picking read aloud books very intentionally so they teach a moral lesson or subject we’re trying to reinforce, or learning shades of colors by sorting laundry. The list could be endless. Kids are always learning!! We also read aloud A LOT or play audible books on car rides. Our 6 ½ year old can now read on his own so he often spends some of his play time reading in the afternoons, as well.
You might struggle finding a rhythm that works for you with younger kids, too. So, no matter what your rhythm looks like at the time,
Here’s a few tips that always help us keep a steady rhythm:
Define the overarching goal of your rhythm for the season you’re in.
Maybe your kids are young like mine are and you want to spend some time developing their character by using the relationships and friendships around them. Maybe your kids are older and really need to learn to get things accomplished in a timely manner so they’ll be successful adults! Recognizing the season you’re in will help you realize what your days need to look like to steer you toward that main goal.
2. Preparing the night before so you can start the morning RIGHT
Go to bed with a tidy (maybe not clean, don’t look too close) house and kitchen so you can start the day fresh and organized.
I set out the kid’s clothes the night before with a quiet morning activity they can do and sometimes even a snack (like a bag of dry cereal). This way they wake up calmly in the morning and entertain themselves right away while I either sleep a little longer (not a morning person over here!) or just…acclimate myself to the day.
The night before, I set out our Bibles, story book, and school work I’d like to get done that morning.
We don’t have a designated space in our house for homeschool, so this all happens at the kitchen table. If I don’t set it out the night before and it’s not staring me in the face all morning, I’m a lot less likely to follow through and do it. The kids often times see it out and ask to start on their own, too. This gets us started sooner and frees us up for any last minute opportunities to hang out with friends later in the day, too!
I’ve already planned ahead what’s for breakfast, lunch, and dinner so we can move right into meals the next day without stopping to figure it out too much.
3. Clean as we go
We get in and out of this habit, unfortunately. But our goal is to always “clean as we go.” As in…we clean up whatever we’re playing with or working on before moving on to the next thing.
The kids know that if they do this, I’m a lot more likely to say YES to whatever the next thing they want to do might be. Whether that’s glitter, paint, mud, more messes? Sure…just as long as we clean as we go. Or maybe it’s inviting a friend over to play. Sure! The house is clean and I won’t be embarrassed when their mom drops off and picks up. Hah!
4. Family time/Rough Housing
Our oldest is 6 ½ if we don’t schedule in rough housing or hitting something, his energy gets all pent up and having a peaceful family rhythm isn’t as possible. So we make sure to make that happen!
Family time happens about every other night because David does ministries in the evenings. If we miss more than that, we start to notice and the kids start to get more emotional and act out. Coming together as a whole family, when possible, helps so much.
5. Monthly family meetings
I talk a LOT more about this in my other post “Family Meetings to Grow” and the Gathered We Grow website. But spending times gathered together, around the table, talking about what’s happening and how we can encourage each other to grow help us all keep connected and on the same page!
Overall, we keep our rhythm loose and flexible. Someday, when our kids are older, I’m sure we’ll reevaluate and have to firm it up a little more. But for now, we’ll let them be little and have a whole lot of fun together while they are!
