Covid, Race, and Kids

 “Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves.”

Matthew 10:16

                  Have you found yourselves chewing on the current information and contemplating how to talk to your kids about everything going on? I’m not completely positive what to share with my kids about all of the current events in our world. I know I’d be wrong to leave them naive or to be educated by overhearing conversations or (if my kids were older) reading what everyone’s thoughts are on social media. It would be easier if they would initiate and ask questions, because then my husband and I could deal with what they already know and work from there, but what about when we need to decide what theyshouldknow? What if they never ask? My kids are still pretty young (our oldest is 8), and so my husband and I will likely initiate these conversations. We want our children to be informed and educated individuals as much as their age allows, but more importantly, we want them to understand that the worldview of our household is a Biblical one. And so, with anything from the most mundane to the most consuming and important, helping our kids make sense of our world as young Christians is vastly important to their spiritual maturity and growth. 

                  When Covid-19 began to move toward an outbreak status in China, my husband and I were already fairly involved in monitoring its progression, because my husband and oldest son were planning to travel there in March. We quickly saw the writing on the wall. My eight-year-old son had to be told early about what was then being called “The Corona Virus,” as it was going to change their plans. Because we were having conversations with him, our other children were of course listening with burning ears. It was strange as things escalated so quickly in the US, and though our kids had some context for what was happening, ithad seemed so far off and non-threatening. But as the wave of infection started moving our way, we knew we needed to control the narrative, because although we don’t watch the news on TV or listen to it on the radio around the kids, they were overhearing all kinds of things everywhere we went. We wanted to reduce the natural inclination to feel fearful or powerless, as we knew that these were sinful and untrue responses (2 Timothy 1:7). We wanted our children (and truthfully, ourselves) to be knowledgeable, but not consumed; to be wise to what was going on in our world, but not overly focused on the temporality, which many adults (honestly, in moments, myself included) were having trouble doing. My husband, Mike, and I wanted our family to respond to the times with Biblical knowledge as our foundation and guide to all thinking and decision making.

                  Fast forward a few months and now we are not only dealing with a pandemic and its constantly changing rules and ramifications, but we also find ourselves in the midst of a cultural firestorm. The conversations about race, policing, politics, evil and justice are inescapable. Many or our neighbors and friends cannot hide their fears (and kids often see through our best attempts anyway). As awkward or unqualified as we might feel, these conversations should be welcomed in our homes. Because you know your children, you are the most qualified and know best how to temper answers to best suit their age, personalities and maturity levels. As with anything, we as Christian parents start with the Bible. What does the Word of God say about the headlines and posts? And from there, we find out what our kids already know or don’t know and build upon these. My oldest is very inquisitive, and so we have already answered questions about Antebellum slavery,  historic and current day racism and what God says about all of this as best we can, but I do not expect that he can navigate the current times without a lot of leading. I anticipate the coming conversations are going to be different because he cannot stay as protected from some of the details we were hoping to spare him just a little while longer, such as the very present ugliness and some of the potential danger of our current world. We will discuss how courage is necessary and how we are not powerless. We will reiterate our non-tolerance as a family and as Christian people toward all forms of racism. We will reaffirm our beliefs that as Christians, we are convicted not by our own personal beliefs or the current popular beliefs, but answer instead and always to a higher authority to love our neighbor as ourselves and prefer others as Christ calls us to (Matthew 22:39 & Romans 12:10). So, even if it were not popular to be against racism in all its forms, our house would stand against it, because it is what God requires of us. The Bible calls human beings the image bearers of Christ: We all look like Him (Genesis 1:27) and we must always aim to think like Him (Galatians 3:28-29). God sets the standards and no one else. 

 If you have an older child who has access to social media, there is a decent chance that they have formulated some opinions or ideas based solely on what their friends have said on these platforms. I can imagine they are trying to navigate the minefield of opinions and accusations as genuinely as they can, but it is important we do not let them do this alone. Social media and mass media in general can be a very dangerous source of information for kids. As parents, we are God-ordained to guide our kids and help them develop their ideas and opinions. This isn’t brainwashing or overstepping, this is discipleship and intentional mentoring. Asking questions about what they understand and how they understand it are going to be very important. But more importantly, helping them to look through the lens of the Bible to see and act accordingly is crucial to their souls. Many either gain or lose their faith during adolescence. It is a prime time to be set on a trajectory for adulthood, whether that be for good or bad.  If you are married, you should meet beforehand and decide how to come to your kids as a united front with the facts and sound doctrine. And then start with what they know, if anything. What have they seen about the pandemic? Do they have any fears about getting sick or their loved ones getting sick? What do they know about racism? What do they know about the news of men who have been killed by police? What do they understand and what are they confused about?  If they have heard about the protesting and looting in San Diego or across the US, what do they know about it and what do they think they should do with that information? If they are young, perhaps just starting with their natural observations of differences in how people look and how in all of our differences, we are all children of God. This principal is incredibly important to know in its simplicity, as it is the basis for how to be in community with each other and to act as people of God. 

To what extent and what depth your children are ready to discuss current events is likely going to vary from household to household. But the central message of hope, courage and obedience to the Lord should always be on the forefront of our minds and seasoning our conversations. So… where do we start? As always, we start with the Bible and let God’s Truth guide us from there. 

“For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline.” 

2 Timothy 1:7

“The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” 

Matthew 22:39:

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor” 

Romans 12:10

“God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”

Genesis 1:27

“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

Galatians 3:28-29