Family Meetings to Grow
Because there is a lot of uncertainty in our world right now, coming together to support each other as a family unit and TEAM is so important. Having a family meeting, talking it out, and getting on the same page gives not only kids, but also mom and dad a sense of security, purpose, and belonging that everyone can really benefit from right now. This is a great opportunity to communicate to your children that ultimately your confidence is in the Lord and His promises. It’s a time to choose to commit to growing your relationships with the Lord, as a family, when a lot of other distractions have been removed.
All that to say…Now is a great time to have a family meeting, if you haven’t already! And today I’m sharing some tips on how to have a family meeting that is fun, encouraging, and fruitful.
With kids out of school, a lot of families are spending a lot more time together. This can be great…or really frustrating. It can take time to re-learn how to communicate and simply be together. You might find there are some gaps in discipline or discover some discipline areas you and your husband aren’t on the same page with. This is pretty normal in a busy, hectic life. But now that things have somewhat come to a hault…take the opportunity to grow together!
Two years ago we started having regular family meetings so we could ALL get on the same page and it has been so good. We felt like the Lord really made this time fruitful and gave us specific questions to talk about with our kids every month that were really effective. In fact, a little over a year ago, David and I felt the Lord call us to write all our family meeting ideas down into a family journal so more families could use the framework the He had give us, too. Earlier this year we were able to get it published and we now have The Gathered We Grow Family Journal available as a resource! If you’re interested in checking it out, you can HERE…now might be a great time to start using it! But you can also definitely have a GREAT family meeting without it!
So today I’m sharing some of our ideas to get you started…
During the week, my husband and I spend time noticing any character issues we see in each of our kids and in ourselves that could use some growth. Then at some point during the week or the night before a family meeting, he and I come together, discuss our ideas, and write down JUST one or two things to bring up for each kiddo (and ourselves!). We’ve seen great fruit from these family meetings and think you will, too!
This is a quick break down of what these look like for us:
HOW:
1. We draw every one into a family meeting with a special snack no one can resist (like banana bread, waffles with whipped cream, cookies, popcorn, etc.), or a fun activity like Legos or coloring to keep little hands busy but bodies at the table and ears mostly listening.
2. We open with prayer- that the Lord would bless our time together, grow us closer to Him and each other.
3. Before we talk about what needs work…we ALWAYS start with ENCOURAGING each other first. We talk about specific things each person has done or said recently that impressed us, that stood out and was excellent. We share how we’re proud of them and fill their little “love tanks,” so to speak!
4. Then we talk about what we’ve been learning from the Lord– whether in devotions, or at Sunday school, or if God’s been talking to us about anything lately. The responses are sometimes silly with the younger kids, but sometimes really surprising and insightful– even for our 4-year-old!
5. This is when we move on in to discuss some harder things – What can we all work on to grow closer together and to the Lord?
· As a FAMILYwe pick one or two things we can do together to grow – like less TV time, eating healthier, limiting sugar, not yelling, doing bed time read aloud’s more, doing devotions together, honoring each other, etc.
· Then EACH PERSON picks something to work on individually, too. Older kids can help pick their own character growth area they recognize they could work on. We pick for the younger kids whatever David and I had discussed and agreed were most important this month to focus on. Things like sharing, being responsible, having self-control, speaking kindly, etc.
6. We then help each other come up with a realistic PLAN to really make that growth happen!
· This is where we write down a specific and measurable plan with goals, accountability, consequences, etc.
-It’s great using our family journal because it’s something tangible we can all refer back to throughout the weeks if we lose focus.
· This is where discipline issues, solutions and expectations become REALLY clear and there’s no room to argue later, when pen has been put to paper and plan written down!
· We all get on the same page and commit to praying for each other and encouraging each other in all of our growth areas that month!
· Next month we go back and check in on how we’ve grown and been successful or re-evaluate our method and try again.
7. We then end on another positive note as we list things we are gratefulfor and things we will prayfor and focus on these things as a family for the next week or month.
Disclaimer!
We don’t always get through it all, in fact we usually have to skip something since our kids are 2, 4 and 6 years old, but that’s why we have meetings often. AND either way, they are getting into a habit of these kinds of family talks being “normal,” which will hopefully last the rest of their lives!
WHEN:
We do family meetings as much as needed – sometimes just once a month, sometimes every other week. Whenever we start to feel like either David and I aren’t on the same page OR the kids are going crazy, we know we need a family meeting!! The more regularly we do them, we’ve found the less likely things are to “explode.” So doing one BEFORE it’s absolutely necessary is key to a peaceful home, too.
It’s also helpful (but not required!) to do these in the morning or midday so you have time to put the things you’ve talked about into practice all day long. This just helps reinforce any disciplines before everyone goes to bed and then you’re ready to keep practicing and growing the next day!
We hope this will help your family get in a habit of intentionally cultivating conversation and discipleship around the table. If you want more information, to buy your own Gathered We Grow Family Journal or get more ideas you can check out our website Gathered We Grow – www.gatheredwegrow.com
