I was well into adulthood with a baby or two when I finally realized, and admitted, that I was an introvert. “Extroverts are so much cooler and popular and all around better,” were my thoughts as a teen and young adult. I would stay out well past midnight with friends because I was NOT going to be the first to leave. I would say “yes” to just about every invitation to hang out. And I’d dare not tell anyone about how I’d sneak away to the beach or a park by myself for hours and hours simply to escape and be alone in a quiet atmosphere where I truly gained strength and could be at rest. I was a people-pleasing, extrovert-wannabe. I don’t think I was intentionally trying to be somebody else or change who I was, I don’t even think I knew how much the lifestyle I was living was completely draining me. My boyfriend-then-husband as well as almost all my friends were extroverts; I was literally surrounded by loud, vivacious people that were so incredibly fun, so why not be the life of the party with them and keep up with all their energy?

An immense freedom came over me when I finally settled into the truth that I was no extrovert. That I usually would rather be with my family than with a crowd of friends. That most of the time I’d prefer to go to the beach by myself with a book instead of with a group of people. That just-family birthday parties for my kids were my favorite kinds of birthday parties. Sure, I left some “coolness” behind when I abandoned the Extrovert ship, but there was a new peace I had being free from not needing to perform anymore. I grew up in theater, therefore a stage and an audience don’t really intimidate me, so I can “perform” pretty well. But trying to be someone you aren’t or trying to get others to believe you’re someone you’re not, can be excruciatingly exhausting.

Throughout our lives we are discovering and even searching for “who we really are”. We take all sorts of personality tests. Maybe we critique posts on Instagram and Facebook and adapt our next post to be similar. We are probably all aware that our personality test results often come up skewed because we answer the questions based on the person we WANT to be, not who we really are. We post pictures and ideas about who we want others to think we are rather than be real about the person we are, which in some cases, we’ve come to be disappointed in.

When I let go of the idealistic or preferred personality traits I thought I should have, I began a search of not who I was, but who I was in Christ. I didn’t ask the “Do I really like this” or “Is this really who I am” questions but instead started asking “Does Christ like this? Does He say this is who I am?” The more I fell in love with Jesus the less I loved myself and the less concerned I became about MY image. The less I was concerned about myself the more I simply wanted to be like Him and reflect HIS image. I started to become confident in who I was in Him and in who He said I was. Living my life loving what God loves and hating what God hates is how I discover who I really am in Christ.

YOU are also a piece of Christ’s image, created to reflect His glory to the world in a unique way, which is why God made you the way He did. You may feel like the person you are becoming or have become is marked with defeat and that you’ve fallen a-little-more-than short of being His image-bearer. Often, Christians confuse failure with defeat. I have failed more times than I can count in probably every area of my life, but that does not mean I am defeated. Failure is necessary for success. Failure brings growth. To be defeated, on the other hand, means I have lost against an enemy. There have been times I’ve look at my life and thought “this is not where I wanted to be,” or “I never thought this is where I’d end up,” and was disappointed at the outcome. I had failed. But because I’ve learned not just who I am but Whose I am, being defeated is not an option. For a born-again believer there is no losing with Jesus on our side because He is the ultimate victor that paid the ultimate price. A life of victory was secured for me on the cross, which doesn’t mean I’ll live a care-free, happy-go-lucky life, but one marked by many failures, turned to learning experiences, turned to victories in Jesus’ name that show His image to the world. If you feel confused with who you really are, dive into the Word of God and into the person of Jesus Christ. The better we know God the better we know ourselves. You’ve probably all heard the analogy that a dish washer can’t wash cars – it wasn’t made to do that. It can try and try, but it will continue to fail. Only when it is used the way it was created, will it be successful. Only when we stop being concerned with our image and pleasing others and focus on mirroring His image and pleasing Him will we find true freedom and lasting joy, because that is what we were created to do.

It took me years to learn that it isn’t my strengths, but my weaknesses that make me relatable. It’s my failures, not my successes, that make me credible. It has been the times that I’ve been the most broken that He’s shined all the brighter, because His grace is sufficient for me, and His power is perfected in my weakness (2 Cor 12:9). God uses us with all our flaws and failures to be His image-bearers not because we’re perfect, but because He is. And He works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to HIS purpose (Romans 8:28).

Be blessed today as you seek Him with all your heart, soul, and mind, where you will truly find joy and freedom in who He made you to be!